For my boys – the huge importance of being your true self!

The way you act when you are happy is you at your best, this is your true self. So when you’re in a good mood, being nice to people, showing respect, being funny / likable / confident … that is the REAL you!

The way you act when you’re sad is not the real you – it is just the mixed results of your mood (sad / bad / angry). So if you’re being rude, ungrateful, nasty, cheeky … that is not the real you. It is the result of your current mood. Nobody actively wants to be rude or ungrateful, just like nobody wants to be sad, mad or angry.

The more you act ungrateful, rude, lazy, cheeky, angry, grumpy … the more unhappy you will feel as you are not being your true self! It’s a downward spiral.

You need to get back to being the real you as fast as possible, as soon as you get back to the real you the sooner you will feel happy again.

When you’re feeling good all the things you do are the true you. Acting nice, being honest, thinking about good things (positive thinking), finding the good bits about any situation, being respectful, helping others and so on.

Have a think about how you act, all the things you do and how you feel when you’re in a good mood. Write it all down if you can, it will really help. That’s the REAL you. Remember that!

When you’re feeling bad/sad/frustrated you will act differently. You might be rude, get angry, talk to be people in a disrespectful way, go in moods, whatever it is. Just know this isn’t YOU. This is a temporary state based on you not feeling your best. Remember that!! We know this isn’t you but this doesn’t mean we will put up with being treated badly, so you have to fix your mood and fix yourself!!

When you act these ways, and basically any time you’re feeling anything but happy and act accordingly (by repeating above bad behaviours) you’ll make yourself feel even worse … because you’re going further away from the REAL you.

The good news is there are ways to stop it. To get back to the happy you. By doing something you enjoy or thinking about something good. Switch what you’re focusing on, find things that make you happy, look for the good in any situation … the things that bring out the best in you.

If you start focusing on all the highlights of your day/week and write them down you’ll start thinking positively and you’ll start to feel happier as the real you wants to appreciate all the good things you’ve accomplished or fun times you’ve had.

If you start focusing on all the good things you have in your life and write them down you’ll start feeling more grateful for what you have and you’ll feel happier … again, you’re being grateful, and every happy person is grateful. You’re meeting a need that makes you happy so you’re being the REAL you.

Any time you don’t feel happy you should ask yourself why. What are you doing at that time that isn’t being the REAL you? Are you acting differently to impress other people? If so why would you if the end result makes you sad.

Are you focusing on bad things and complaining? Again why make yourself sad by doing this!

Are you being ungrateful or rude? It’ll just make you feel worse.

Stop yourself from these behaviours and do something that represents the real you, you’ll quickly return to feeling happier and more fulfilled.

Sometimes you can’t change the situation, some things / tasks / classes are unavoidable … but you can always, ALWAYS change how you think about the situation. Find the fun or the good about the situation.

If you’re at football training and not enjoying it, think of the positives of being there. You’re getting fitter and improving your abilities even though you might not realise it. You’re doing something with your friends so they are in it with you.

If you’re at school and don’t usually enjoy a certain class try to find ways to take something … anything at all … positive from the class. You must be learning something, even if you find just one tiny lesson, one bit of useful information from each class… you’ll feel happier as you’ve learned something, you’ll feel better as you’ve looked on the positive side.

By being positive and searching for good you’re improving yourself and will feel happy about it.

The other option is be negative about it and find things to moan about it. How do you feel after that? Miserable, no question, no doubt! Why would you do that to yourself??

Don’t let others define your own vision of yourself by the throw away comments they make when you are in a bad mood or not your usual self.

People may say, in the heat of the moment, you’re always grumpy. Or you’re so nippy, or you’re always cheeky … based on how you act when you’re not feeling happy.

If you hear these throw away comments enough you start to believe them. “Oh, I’m always grumpy, ok, that’s part of my character” and you stay in a miserable state as that’s who you are, to meet the new self image you have of yourself… after all that’s what they said you were!!

It doesn’t have to be that way. Write down the way you act and feel when you’re on top of your game, when your confidence is in full flow and your feeling the buzz. THAT’S the real you!! Not that moaning complainer or cheeky sour face.

Remember the true you, your best version of yourself. That’s you and that’s your true qualities.

Now if you’re in a bad mood find ways to get back to your true self, to get back to your best!

Be the REAL you, be the happy person everybody admires and loves!

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