Normally I write blogs with a pre-thought out message but today feels like a good day to expand and give myself a free arm to write from the heart so here goes. I have been writing this blog now for 3 years on and off and it’s been a great journey, one with some amazing moments of fulfillment … but sometimes I wish things would take a bigger jump and I could make more of an impact. +500 is a great number of followers, one I am proud of but I’d love to help more people and I plan to do just that, no matter what it takes.
I started writing this blog to help people get over confidence / anxiety / insecurity issues like I have battled with most of my adult life and have managed to overcome myself. I’ve learned a lot of useful techniques that really helped me and I want to help others do the same but reaching a wider audience seems like a massive challenge. I never want to be a heartless mercenary only following others blogs just to get a follow back, just to extend an audience. I want to earn my followers from genuine useful content and meaningful messages so maybe being open and honest will help with that.
I’ve had challenges with anxiety and confidence as I said, most of my adult life … to the point I couldn’t even order food in a restaurant or shop! My anxiety blocked me from communicating like I normally would and I would mumble out the sentence, hoping that the other person would pick up enough of it to work out the rest. It was pretty debilitating … but I managed to get over it.
I used to struggle for breath whenever I got even slightly stressed out, like I knew a deep breath would help me calm down so my anxiety tightened up my chest to make sure that didn’t happen and even small breaths were virtually impossible … but I managed to get over it.
These techniques work, I want to help others beat their own anxiety challenges, the same way I have.
There are several key areas that helped me:
- Removing negative influences
- Actively seeking out positive influences
- Choosing to focus on the good (variety of useful techniques)
- Reprogramming my mind to create healthy self-image
I started to change what I focused on, like I used to watch the news and start worrying about terrorist attacks and anything else worrying out there. I would go from worrying about one thing to worrying about another … because I was focusing on the bad stuff. I was over thinking everything and making myself miserable. By focusing on only the negatives of my life I was finding ways to find more things to worry about.
This all stopped the day I learned about the power of my subconscious mind, it set me back on the right track. When I learned that my subconscious is like a computer that you can program I knew I could get over the negativity that I had drawn in. Knowing that I could feed my subconscious a healthier self-image and it would take it at face value gave me hope. Knowing that I could tell my subconscious a better story of who I am and what I am capable of gave me confidence and faith that I could do more.
You are what you feed your mind – I’d heard that a million times but I never really knew the full power of the message! I was feeding my mind negative input on a regular basis so I was becoming more and more negative myself. That one day I learned about the power of my subconscious mind was the day I decided to change my inputs for the better.
I started watching motivational speakers on You Tube, bought books on happy living and creating success, and started focusing on the good things in my own life. Recounting my strengths, appreciating more everything I had, and celebrating my daily achievements. I changed my focus to good and kept at it persistently.
By changing what I was focusing on I started finding more and more good things in my life. Everything looked better in a new light. I was finding the positives all around me, instead of the previous negatives. I started having more empathy for others and realised that I was more in control of my own life than I ever had imagined. I started finding opportunities rather than hindrances. My expectancy switched from worrying and fear to actually expecting nice things to happen … and happen they did!
I had lived a life waiting for the right conditions, believing happiness would happen when I reached a certain goal, that didn’t happen … but when I started focusing on everything I had and how lucky I was, my happiness and contentment level soared. Without gratitude for what you have currently, you will never appreciate what you get in the future. You have to count your blessings now and celebrate who you are.
- Write a daily gratitude list (5 new things each day)
- Affirm all your strengths
- Write a daily highlights list
- Change what you watch, listen to, who you spend time with (choose positive influences)
- Add in some goals and take action towards them
Once you reach this frame of mind you can add in goals / targets & dreams. I was being positive and appreciating what I had so I was more confident to go after what I wanted. I didn’t just go after it, I believed whole heartedly that they would be achieved and many of the goals were and continue to be.
Life isn’t easy but you can help yourself by focusing on the good stuff instead of the bad. When you do this your anxiety will slowly fade and your confidence will grow … trust me, I have been there and got through it.
For more techniques, check out the rest of my blog … there’s a whole load in there.